The Funniest First Date In Your Life | Dating Experiences

My friends sister hit on me.. for 5 months. I relented, half her teeth had rotted and she claimed she was only a year older than me, even though she looks in her late 40's. Plus, what I know of the family.. err, nah.

Being asked if I preferred Pirates or Ninjas - I did laugh out loud!!!

I got asked on a first date over dinner if I was on the pill as he didn't like wearing condoms...in my head i'm thinking "you aren't even making it back to my house never mind my bedroom "after nearly choking on my food.  I didn't see him again.

Haha....love the post above lol...the cheek!!
you should have threw your drink over him.

Mine wasnt exactly funny although my mates had a good laugh
When i met an ex in a bar....we were having a chat and a few drinks.....then her ex comes and sits with us...who i had never met before....and has a few drinks with us
I didnt know what to say or where to look haha
needless to say i finished my beer and made my excuses and did a runner for a bit hehe

I met a guy online who was very local to me, so although our online conversations hadn't been too inspiring, I figured "what the hell, we'll meet for lunch".  After describing in detail every piece of his trainset, he then confessed to still living with his parents (at 36) and had taken the liberty of buying tickets to the local working men's club that Saturday where they were having a star trek fancy dress night, and as his parents would be there, I could meet them.  Strangely enough I was washing my hair that night.

Then there was the S & M guy who confessed that he'd chosen me because I was six feet tall and he thought I could be his dominatrix.  He seriously wanted me to strap him to a wooden frame and beat him with a bullwhip until he broke through the pain barrier and entered a state of euphoria (!)  I said I had to powder my nose and made a quick exit.

Oh, and of course the man who announced that he was a breast man and I had passed his test, so why didn't I drink up and we could go back to his place.  I'd only been there 5 minutes.  I just said "in your dreams", turned around and walked out.

[color=#0000CD]well i went out with this one girl i met at a wedding, on our first and only date (which lasted about 30 seconds) she came to a fancy restuarant dressed like Vicky Pollard! huge hoop earrings, the lot!

They are hilarious stories

beth_brunet wrote:

mine was with someone quite nice..but when he smiled, there was a special surprise for me. He had no top teeth. I tried not to be rude and not to burst into laughing, i hope i managed to, after all i'm a polite lady. Anyways i faked an urgent meeting with my brother so nothing worked out. Do you think i'm a bad girl now? I'm sure you have your funny stories, don't be shy and post them here

How funny lol ............I dont think you are a bad girl although am impressed that you didnt escape to the toilet and tryy to climb out of the window...aww bless him though poor guy xx

I had met a lady in Manchester tasken her number and arranged to meet for a drink.

All went well for the first 5 minutes and then she explained that she still lived with her husband and ran the home and managed money like a couple, She wa slooking for someone who could provide for her what she currently has, home, a car, and she didnt intend to work and therefore my income had to be sufficient to support her and her 3 children. It was all conducted liek some weird job interview. 

I politely declined and said something along the lines of i hadn't come for a job interview and left. Managed to make it to 18 minutes. Honesty - yep, but a bit too much for me. although i did laugh about it on my way home to the pub.

Now this might come across rude,But it is not my intention i have seen your photo and you look faultless,And you are bad for not laughing in his face that is being two faced on your account.But what if he really did not have them teeth missing and had false ones but took them out when he saw you,To put you off him,How then would that make you feel? cos i had  a experience with a blind date i met in a pub local to her,But i done the right thing and pissed myself in front of her,she had all her teeth but she also had a glass eye with a fish in it.......

oh i cant stop laughing! thought id had it bad , met one man that looked ok in the pic and seemed nice  with his mail ect, then come,s the first meeting , what can i say ? this sorry to say very old looking fat bold looking man is there to meet me , sat in some pub with me doing all the talking , i just said to myself not again! well i did the right thing said i needed the loo then ran out another door , works for me everytime . so not to worry about teeth ect , ive seen it all , good luck to all x

princessscarlett wrote:

beth_brunet wrote:

mine was with someone quite nice..but when he smiled, there was a special surprise for me. He had no top teeth. I tried not to be rude and not to burst into laughing, i hope i managed to, after all i'm a polite lady. Anyways i faked an urgent meeting with my brother so nothing worked out. Do you think i'm a bad girl now? I'm sure you have your funny stories, don't be shy and post them here

How funny lol ............I dont think you are a bad girl although am impressed that you didnt escape to the toilet and tryy to climb out of the window...aww bless him though poor guy xx

Hey princess tell us some more of yours hun. You seem to get the funny dates

I used to go out with a teacher and went out one night and he bumped into some of his pupils...it was a cringing moment because u can imagine what the pupils were like to see their teacher out on the town but I was more the pupils age than his!

x

REASON NOT TO GO ON A BLIND DATE   

Ok, You get out the car look around and think,who is it ?? then you see this figure coming towards you and you look behind you, kinda hoping there is someone else there, nope, uh uh, it's you he's here to meet !! (cause he's seen my pic).
HIS DESCRIPTION   45yrs old    5ft 9......Medium Build, Brown Hair, Attractive
MY DESCRIPTION    54yrs old    5ft 2      As Round as he was tall  !!!.........grey hair, what was left(not that i don't like bald men ).Not attractive !!

Do you walk away, not me to polite ! Put on the smile, say hello, go for coffee. Ok what now, cause he's a wee bit smelly having been at work all week in the same suit(and shirt me thinks), so it's the, "must use the ladies" excuse me, frantically fone bestest friend in the whole world and say call me in 5 mins or i'll hate you forever.

Meanwhile, when they stop laughing, you make your way back to the table , everything ok he asks, oh just fine says me!!..... god i do go on a bit lol ... anyway the fone call comes and she's playing "Bat out of Hell" down the fone,      keep a straight face, (damm i should win an oscar ):  So it's the my son needs me he's unwell, reaally sorry, got to go NOW.             Can i have your number he asks.....sorry don't know it says me, (did'nt know i could walk so fast) over my shoulder. Anyway, he constantly e-mails so i had to block him after saying no , no ,no......... Moral of the story..........NEVER EVER GO ON A BLIND DATE

My female best friend has had the best one ive ever heard of

She meets a guy and they agree to go to dinner, when he arrives she notices he has a big shooping bag with him, thinks nothing of it but is intrigues as to whats in it and why hes got it.  After they finished dinner she soon found out, he pulled out a stamp album and proceeded to show her the whole way through it.  When she laughed and asked if he was serious he said deadly and that any woman who wants to go out with him must accept him and his stamp collection.

I pissed myself for about an hour when i picked her up from the restaurant.

kitty1262 wrote:

REASON NOT TO GO ON A BLIND DATE   

Ok, You get out the car look around and think,who is it ?? then you see this figure coming towards you and you look behind you, kinda hoping there is someone else there, nope, uh uh, it's you he's here to meet !! (cause he's seen my pic).
HIS DESCRIPTION   45yrs old    5ft 9......Medium Build, Brown Hair, Attractive
MY DESCRIPTION    54yrs old    5ft 2      As Round as he was tall  !!!.........grey hair, what was left(not that i don't like bald men ).Not attractive !!

Do you walk away, not me to polite ! Put on the smile, say hello, go for coffee. Ok what now, cause he's a wee bit smelly having been at work all week in the same suit(and shirt me thinks), so it's the, "must use the ladies" excuse me, frantically fone bestest friend in the whole world and say call me in 5 mins or i'll hate you forever.

Meanwhile, when they stop laughing, you make your way back to the table , everything ok he asks, oh just fine says me!!..... god i do go on a bit lol ... anyway the fone call comes and she's playing "Bat out of Hell" down the fone,      keep a straight face, (damm i should win an oscar ):  So it's the my son needs me he's unwell, reaally sorry, got to go NOW.             Can i have your number he asks.....sorry don't know it says me, (did'nt know i could walk so fast) over my shoulder. Anyway, he constantly e-mails so i had to block him after saying no , no ,no......... Moral of the story..........NEVER EVER GO ON A BLIND DATE

Oh my G-d, thought mine was bad lol!

Over 25 years ago I'd gone to see a decent local band at a pub in Coventry. The place was packed, no room for dancing and I'd been lucky enough to get a seat - couldn't see the band but I'd gone to listen anyway. Between sets I got chatting with a considerably older woman, sitting at the same table, just about the music. After about an hour (which included less than 10 mins chat) a body crashed into me, spilling several drinks and soaking the older woman. My 'attacker' was most apologetic, saying she'd slipped on the wet floor and offering to replace spilled drinks. The woman I'd chatted with fled home. My 'attacker brought fresh drinks, wiped down the chair and joined me for our 'first date'.
As I was taking her home after the gig she admitted  that the incident had been deliberate and that she'd actually thrown herself at me because she didn't like seeing me talking to 'that old woman'. It began a relationship that lasted almost a year and was pretty good for most of it.
That was the first and only time a woman threw herself at me. Can't say I'm expecting it to happen again.....not in this life, anyway.