SINGLE DADS | Single Parents

hi there im a single dad 2 have been for 8 yrs now gave my socail life up 2 do this but i do love it it was hard @ 1st my boys 10 now his mum walked out on us

single dad here to in darlington son 15 with special needs and we get on great , he sees his mam twice a week . It hard work but lov every minute of raising him

Just wanted to say, after reading all your comments. It is nice to know that im not the only one left who feels the way i do. It is  hard being a single parent but despite all the ups and downs, one thing that is very pricless is the love and bond that you have with your kids, and i would never trade that for man or beast.
It is hard to try and date, but if the person is not interested in the whole package or doesnt understand.
They can take a  walk.
Would love to find that special someone but as time is going on, i dont think it will happen.
But good luck to the rest of you.x

It's a shame so many single parents espouse this 'take the package or hit the road'.......I appreciate that kids have to be a priority, but surely not the only priority...........and why be so aggressive about it.

It strikes me as a rather self defeating approach, a rather easy way to make sure the walls stay nice and high and there's always the 'kids will get me out of jail free' card that can be played.

The kids will not always be around, the kids will hit a point were their own entertainment is more important than mummies or daddies love and affection. The fact that you're sitting in alone every night won't make a ripple in their world.

So, sure, if you want to be always putting the kids first, go ahead. But think........where does that put you and a perspective partner...........way down on the list. Surely 'you' should be one of your own priorites and a partner deserves to be a priority too.

But, hey...if that's too difficult to make a bit of time and space, to manage your activities, to plan a little ahead............then you'll always have the comfort of knowing  your kids will always come first and you can have that bottle of wine all to yourself!

WiWater wrote:

The kids will not always be around, the kids will hit a point were their own entertainment is more important than mummies or daddies love and affection. The fact that you're sitting in alone every night won't make a ripple in their world.

I agree with you entirely WiW, however it is a very powerful combination of hormones and instinct, not logic, that will have some parents put their kids above their own lives.  This is not everyone, obviously, but does seem to be very common.  I am not about to say whether that is a good or bad thing, it is just how it is.

I just accept they have a philosophical view on life that is so very different to mine and state clearly that I am not interested in anyone with children.  Everyone has a right to have their own priorities.

Mizanthrope wrote:

it is a very powerful combination of hormones and instinct, not logic, .

Ah, I understand that..............the squillion pairs of shoes were emotional (not at all logical or practical) decisions!!

Vive la difference!!! 

WiWater wrote:

Mizanthrope wrote:

it is a very powerful combination of hormones and instinct, not logic, .

Ah, I understand that..............the squillion pairs of shoes were emotional (not at all logical or practical) decisions!!

Vive la difference!!! 

Sorry but shoes are always practical.... unless the heels are too high to be able to walk in them.

WiWater wrote:

The kids will not always be around, the kids will hit a point were their own entertainment is more important than mummies or daddies love and affection. The fact that you're sitting in alone every night won't make a ripple in their world.

that made me smile...
im a single mum to four wondeful kids...the eldest are 17 and 14 and have better social lives than me...the youngest are 9 and 10 so need me a little...up to yet anyway! its true what you say though...we spend so much time running our lives around our kids that when they grow older and find their own fun and freedom, we then find ourselves sitting alone at night with only the tv, laptop and of course, the bottle of wine for company. So while i agree that its important for a guy to accept we have kids and that they come first, its also equally as important to put ourselves first once in a while...after all, the bottole of wine will soon run out and its much more fun drinking with company

Good for you and very best of luck neontiger..............we all deserve to put ourselves first occasionally!!

well done for this topic. i aint a mum or anything but i think its great what u r doing. im sure father hood is amazing i hope one day i get to experience motherhood

All of you guys make me realize how many good guys are still out there willing to be responsible and caring, keep up the good work, every child deserves at least one loving parent.

hi i am Steve
I also unfortunatly became a single Dad to my son when his mum turned to the dreadded DRINK  even before his birth. we have tried so many times too involve mum in his short 3year life but always came second best to a glass of vodka. he is my world and i would'nt change a thing about him. Daddies littel boy if ever you seen one.

I have to say wether your a single dad or a single mum we are all specil people as we all have to make personal sacrifices and put ourselves at the bottom of the pile. Thats what its all about none of us ask to be a single parent.  I think we can all agree its bloody lonely and isolating but on the other hand its so rewarding!! When you step back and look at your kids and feel proud that you and you allone have shaped these people into who they are today. Be proud of yourselves, I know I am!! I have been a single mum for 13 years and never had a relationship in that time. That is all about to change hopefully one day!! ****.

I really liked reading all the posts about everyones individual experiences as single dads and the occasional mum. I am also a single dad and like other people have said it isn't the easiest thing to do. I have the up most resoect for anyone who has more than one child to look after because my one daughter is a handful!!! But do you know what all she has do to do is give a big bright smile and it becomes more than worthwhile it becomes a blessing.

There are obviously some great people here on this site and I really hope that I can get to know them, it seems so hard to meet new people sometimes so here is hoping that I can make some great new friends.

lisaj34 wrote:

AlanNMN wrote:

I have an 6 year old, and his Mom has not been a part of his lives. The only thing he know about her is what I have told him, and the pictures I have showed him. Over 3 years of not hearing from her I made the effort to track her down and give her the opritunity to be a part of his life. She did make an effort for the first month, then faded away again. I don't mind raising my kid alone, and actually I enjoy it. Lonely? sure at times, but I wouldn't trade the moments I get to spend with my kid for anything. So women don't assume I am looking for a Mom for my kid, because I'm not.

You sound an amazing man, i know what it like being a single parent, my daughter is 7 and hasn't seen her father since she was 2 1/2, he had the oppunities but never did anything about it and you can never get them special moments back. He has missed out on so much,  It is hard on your own, but you just get on with it. If you eve wanna chat just search for lisaj34. take care xx

I take my hat off to all you single dads out there, it must be difficult to be dad and mum all rolled into one, it,s sad when its a death but, sader when the mum leaves as a mum myself i think i must be the hardest thing in the world to leave your child. i would lay down my life for them its a natural instink to protect your own like mummy bear lol
I do believe that if a woman leaves her child there must be some major issue for it so, As i say all you single dad,s out there you do a fantastic job well done to all of you, you should be proud of yourselves.

vixen

I have two boys aged 17 and 13, they are suppose to live with me but they go to see their father when ever they feel like it, he is still the same father they always known, although he gives me maintenance, he still by them lots of things and take them on holiday, I never interfere betweem him and our sons, he wasn't a good husband to me, but te be fair to him he is a wonderfull father. I love my boys dearly, but Sometimes men can be more affectionate and caring towards their children than their own mothers who carried them for 9 months.

Got to say a huge well done to all the single Dads on here who are coping so well.
As a single Mum I know what you're going through but trust me it'll all be worth it in the end when your child grows up and turns into a great ****!
Keep on doing what you're doing.
Good luck!

lovelyladyx wrote:

Got to say a huge well done to all the single Dads on here who are coping so well.
As a single Mum I know what you're going through but trust me it'll all be worth it in the end when your child grows up and turns into a great ****!
Keep on doing what you're doing.
Good luck!

We dont cope, we dont know what were doing, but we think if were good with kids women  will like us,

rubberlove1 wrote:

lovelyladyx wrote:

Got to say a huge well done to all the single Dads on here who are coping so well.
As a single Mum I know what you're going through but trust me it'll all be worth it in the end when your child grows up and turns into a great ****!
Keep on doing what you're doing.
Good luck!

We dont cope, we dont know what were doing, but we think if were good with kids women  will like us,

That's a very cynical approach, I'm sure that not all single Dad's are using their children as bait lol, hope not anyway. If it's true then the world is a very sad place.

Cheer up! Having children does not mean we have to be single... I believe I shall find my other half one day... just keep my eyes open