SINGLE DADS | Single Parents

AlanNMN wrote:

I have an 6 year old, and his Mom has not been a part of his lives. The only thing he know about her is what I have told him, and the pictures I have showed him. Over 3 years of not hearing from her I made the effort to track her down and give her the opritunity to be a part of his life. She did make an effort for the first month, then faded away again. I don't mind raising my kid alone, and actually I enjoy it. Lonely? sure at times, but I wouldn't trade the moments I get to spend with my kid for anything. So women don't assume I am looking for a Mom for my kid, because I'm not.

Alan, im a single mum to a twelve year old boy and i can identify with everything that your saying!! my sons father had been in and out of his life when it suits him and its got to the stage where my son does not want to see him, my son is the most important person in my life and the way i see it is that its his father that is missing out on his son growing up, you sound like a proud caring dad and your son is a licky little boy, being a single parent is one of the hardest jobs ever alan, weither you are a man or a woman.  Keep going alan because at the end of the day, when your son grows up you can take ALL the dredit for the man he turns out to be and he will know its you thats always been there for him, good for you!!!!

Hi everyone,im a single dad,i've a 6yr old son,he's been with me since his mum walked out 8 months ago,at first i found it hard but its getting easier,she sees him when it suits her,which is going to change,it's the first time i've used any online dating and im sure something will happen

cheroo wrote:

I'm a single Dad to a 9 year old girl and a 4 year old boy. I wouldn't swap them for the world, but dating is difficult. I've had 2 serious relationships since their Mum and I split up.

One was with a girl 12 years my junior, who had no kids but was great with mine - for a while - then started getting very jealous and nasty.

The 2nd relationship was with a girl 6 years my junior who had 3 teenage girls - they were a handful at times but we all (5 kids and all) got on so well. But after 6 months, she wanted less and less to do with me and the kids, and it just fizzled out. No nastiness though.

My daughter was devastated when she heard it was over - but now is trying to match make me with friends mums!

Hey just read your story and I can totally agree with you, dating while your a single parent can be so difficult, you've not only to worry if the person is going to be right for you but if they are going to be alright with your children, my son and I come as a package and if a man cant deal with that then I feel that they aree'nt what im looking for anyway.  Its hard for kids when they get close to someone your dating and if it doesnt work out, they are affected as well, its unfair and its something i worry about when i even consider dating.  You sound like you have it all sussed out and put your kids first, thats all you really can do.

hi there, im a single father of three wonderful kids who mean the world to me,yes, i have found it hard to bring them up on my own without their mum around (left me 4 mths ago),and even with my family not being close by,but watching them growing up is rewarding.i do miss the closeness of a female,sharing those special moments u get in a relationship but what i found is that its harder for us single dads to find someone then it is for single mums, i may be wrong so please tell me.i only wish that those single girls out there gives us single fathers a chance to show u what we can give back in a relationship.u can massage us any time and i will reply back. good luck

Right...lets get things straightened out here....(lol)
Its a fact that quite a high percentage of us on here have got children,either living with us or infact with the other parent.
I don't want to sound off or anything like that,but regardless of whether your children are with you or your ex-partner should'nt really matter...If there is someone out there for us in life,then they will take us for who we are,and our children?!
There hopefully is that right person for each and every one of us,of which hopefully time will tell?!

Single dad here aswell, have been for about 14 months so far, one 14 year old daughter living with me.  I think it sort of hinders your chances of a relationship so I think the best thing is to just sort of let things happen and see what turns up!

I took on someone with 3 children, the youngest being 18mths, so its not impossible, works both ways.
When you meet someone who has children you accept it as part of a package .

exactly...its not just about the outside packaging,its all the little pieces that go to build the complete item.

cheroo wrote:

I'm a single Dad to a 9 year old girl and a 4 year old boy. I wouldn't swap them for the world, but dating is difficult. I've had 2 serious relationships since their Mum and I split up.

One was with a girl 12 years my junior, who had no kids but was great with mine - for a while - then started getting very jealous and nasty.

The 2nd relationship was with a girl 6 years my junior who had 3 teenage girls - they were a handful at times but we all (5 kids and all) got on so well. But after 6 months, she wanted less and less to do with me and the kids, and it just fizzled out. No nastiness though.

My daughter was devastated when she heard it was over - but now is trying to match make me with friends mums!

dont give up, when my ex left me 2 years ago, not only did I miss him I also missed his children,

friend4ever58 wrote:

cheroo wrote:

I'm a single Dad to a 9 year old girl and a 4 year old boy. I wouldn't swap them for the world, but dating is difficult. I've had 2 serious relationships since their Mum and I split up.

One was with a girl 12 years my junior, who had no kids but was great with mine - for a while - then started getting very jealous and nasty.

The 2nd relationship was with a girl 6 years my junior who had 3 teenage girls - they were a handful at times but we all (5 kids and all) got on so well. But after 6 months, she wanted less and less to do with me and the kids, and it just fizzled out. No nastiness though.

My daughter was devastated when she heard it was over - but now is trying to match make me with friends mums!

dont give up, when my ex left me 2 years ago, not only did I miss him I also missed his children,

Bless you.

blue_eyedboy wrote:

friend4ever58 wrote:

cheroo wrote:

I'm a single Dad to a 9 year old girl and a 4 year old boy. I wouldn't swap them for the world, but dating is difficult. I've had 2 serious relationships since their Mum and I split up.

One was with a girl 12 years my junior, who had no kids but was great with mine - for a while - then started getting very jealous and nasty.

The 2nd relationship was with a girl 6 years my junior who had 3 teenage girls - they were a handful at times but we all (5 kids and all) got on so well. But after 6 months, she wanted less and less to do with me and the kids, and it just fizzled out. No nastiness though.

My daughter was devastated when she heard it was over - but now is trying to match make me with friends mums!

dont give up, when my ex left me 2 years ago, not only did I miss him I also missed his children,

Bless you.

man its heartbreaking but u gan never give up 4 the sake of the kids i have 2 i dont see its not my choise but things get better the older they get my 17 yr old boy wants me to get back wiv his mum i would like to but too much water has gone under the bridge my new partner wants children i dont no what to do my other one i might as well not exist her mum mmmmmmm thinks she us better off without me i speak we r on friendly turms but thats it wot do i do thanks mark

Mark....I feel for you mate,truly I do,as wiil others that you will get feedback from.
I tried and tried and questioned myself for a long time when my wife went off with someone else....because at the end of the day..I'm a Dad through and through and adore my children,and when I had to leave it tore me appart!
But down the line and 2 years later I have a lovely relationship still with my kids,when at first they begged me to stay with their Mum....But after she did what she did...I could'nt go back!
I guess what I'm trying to say is..."keep things together for yourself"...Your kids will always be there mate,although under different circumstances,give your son the reassurance that his dad loves him and wiil always be there for him mate!!
Some things always seem bad at the time....But things get better in the end mate believe me!!

hands down i would rathar date a single father  that has there children living with them as you can relate to the fact as singe parents bringing up our children they have to come 1st and it is tough dating and trying to find men that understand this, if im 2 tired 1 night to go out i get told it must b a brush off im fed up explaining, ive got 3 boys and most single men think im looking for a father for my children and im so not im fine bringing up my children alone but i get lonely same as everyone and would like some1 for me and a friend to my children x

Hi ive been a single dad now for 11 months, to my 3 year old daughter, its not easy but it does get better with time.

I must say i have to agree with blue eyed boy. Im a single parent and its tough on all aspects but i truely believe it is also tough for the other parent who misses out on lots of things. I agree with others that have said that dating is difficult with children but i think dating is just difficult in general especially when your a certain age. At the end of the day. when were all taken out of our comfort zone at home with the ones we know and love it can be a very daunting experience.

scarlett2008 wrote:

im a single mum have been for nearly 7 years, on saying that i was virtualy a single mum while i was married, i have a 13 year old daughter and an 11 year old son with mental heath problems, and a resent addition of a 9 moth old boy, my ex husband sees his children when they feel like it, i made the point of never talking badly about him in front of them but as time went on they made there own minds up about him, only bacause he would mess them around and break promisses he made to them, and they found out of there older half brothers what went on while we were married, my little boys dad cheated while i was preg, i gave him the chance to change after he begged and he did it again, so that was that, he sees his son when he can and when hes not chasing after random girls, theres one thing guaranteed to get me realy angry its putting onther paople before your kids, fair play to anyone who is a decent parent male or female, i feel being a single mum hinders your dating chances and poss new relationships, adding to that my son being ill it kinda makes you give up, it would be nice to meet some one but it would take a long time of building trust after everything thats happend, and they would need the patience of a saint to put up with my son, that or an endless supplie of valium lol

Hi. I'm a single dad of five nippers. Have been through bit similar to you, although I didnt have to deal with health issues ( apart from when my youngest at the age of 3 decided to fall out of her bedroom window and breaking her thigh bone and in hospital for 4 weeks, then in a full body cast for 6 weeks).  Loadsa fun with pushchair when out shoppin. LOL.!!! Their windows now have small breakable chains fixed to them!!!!!! LOL. I had to shut my business premisses down and work around my kids which i still do 6 yrs later. I had to learn to cook, keep house and garden, run a business, be the dadtaxi and learn to stop spinnin on the spot.LOL. But boy have I enjoyed it. I absolutely love it and my life with me kids. Mad, I know, but it sure beats dealing with customers silly comments about when i'm goin to finish their piece of furniture!!!!  I tell em. Excuse me i'm goin ome to me kids for sanity ( the look on their faces is a picture).!!! Unfortunately my eldest son was turned against me just under four years ago, he's only been home to the cottage about five times for a flying visit. But I have worked bloody hard to get my ex to stop the nastiness and work together and at least talk to each other properly for the nippers sake, and at last my extreme patience has worked, and the kids are so much happier for it.  Yea, we've had so many crap times, but as all of us single parents know, all the hassles are far outweighed by the great times kids give us, and the loving smiles as they look at us. So all you ladies that look at us single dads, and think, umm what does he want? We are not after another mum for our kids, or to have our own ****. we would like a companion to share our great and rich life with what we have and want to share. and speaking for myself. I'd like to have someone to laugh with and love with.

I'm a single dad of a 3year old girl and 1 year old boy and love every day.

hi to all ..yes..........another single dad here.......begining to think we should have some sort of club....looked after my 2 kids now for over 4yrs so a bit of a novice it would seem  compared with some of you others ...my son has special needs  ..and is nearly as tall as me  !! can be a handful at times but a nice lad , need to introduce him to shaving next week , boy am i looking forward to that ( not )   what the future holds for both me and him i dont know....just take each day as it comes.....my daughter also lives with me ......a good girl but more of a headache than my son...women ehh !!     have noticed a lot of women who have kids want to meet a fella  who lives alone or has kids who live else where , can some one explain this to me male or female.....are they after a meal ticket...wow !!  controversial

Hi there, I'm another one. I have 3 kids (12,9 &7), been a working dad for 5 years now and I love my kids to bits. It might be hard work, but my kids are worth it. The ex has now increased having them from every 3 weeks to every 2 weeks now, so I get a little rest occasionally too.

P

Hi, I’ve been a single father now for a short time (18 months) i have 3 great children (9,11 and 13), but the main issue is that they need stability and routine.  Attempting any form of relationship is a herculean task as i tend to place the children 1st as i feel they are more vulnerable and then ladies walk out the door.. hmm tough nut to crack.  Any insight into this modern day dilemma would be appreciated.

alright,im a sngle dad of a 10 year old,its been just e and him since he was a year old,have to say its not hard,i work full time and always have,got my own house as well,only probs is school hoidays etc but it works itself out....women just make it sound hard......