Milestones | Religion And Philosophy

“we look back and realise we could have done things differently”

Catherine on another Board asked this:-
How do you begin to live an authentic life, being true to yourself and who you are, when you've spent the last 25 years living the life others think you should be living?
I've always been unsure of myself, I've never really trusted myself.
Lately, I've started to have more confidence and want live the life I've always imagined myself living.
But it seems like I've lost a big part of myself, I've sacrificed a huge part of myself.
How do I get that back? Is it lost forever? I feel I'm fading like a shadow, that my time here will end without my ever really living.


Hi Catherine,
I think that you should be very pleased with yourself that you've woken up to the fact that there's more to life than what other people expect.
Lots and Lots of people never do that at all. They do all their living in the light of other people's expectations. Sad souls.

Regret comes with living but don't regret the wrong things. Don't regret 25 years of your life--you learned some things during those years and you developed some muscle. You learned perhaps that you don't like foolishness or manipulation. Or love that only calls itself that.
Or maybe you learned that when something is not right you have to leave it behind and move on by yourself.
I don't know what your lessons have been but you can be sure that you learned them.

Now you have the opportunity to find yourself and you can do it as an ****.
Think about the things you love--books, movies, occasions--and think about why you love them. What do they bring you?
Think about the people you respect, even if they're characters in books. What is it you respect in them? You surely have that thing in you. You just have to uncover it and exercise it.

There are worlds in you.
There are worlds in everyone. But you, who have unblinded yourself, are fortunate enough to be able to go after them now.

Best of luck in your search. It will be difficult sometimes.
The key for those of us who have done idiot things and made idiot choices is not to regret...very much.
Here's a micro-story:
When my mother died I had to decide what about our relationship to regret because certainly, it was a sorrowful relationship. I'm sorry that we were never able to be friends and that we never were able to have a good laugh together. But that's all. We were two entirely different people and neither one of us could help it.
I can't make myself what I want to be if I wallow in why or if only.

Neither can you.

*************************

Nelson Mandala spent 27 years in jail.
He emerged chrysalis-like from a prison.
One moment a miserable prisoner serving Life,
the next Premier of a new, peaceful, non-racist Nation.
A major political change and no blood spilt.
Whatever has happened to you in the past has forged you into the person you now are.
In fatalistic terms, was Mandala destined to have his Spirit, his metal tested by Fate ?
To feel disillusion, that all was lost, then realise he must go on, irrespective of the odds, that he must take up the pen and lobby, to formulate a peaceful solution to the problem before his release. To have the vision for a new future for South Africa and ALL South Africans.
To BELIEVE, to have FAITH in his VISON for himself and his fellow countrymen.
If Life is a road, sure we may stumble, fall, take wrong turnings, get lost, feel abandoned, feel all hope is gone, get misled by others, mislead our selves – but when we emerge from that , we will be strong.
The vicissitudes of Life can be your greatest Blessings.
Congratulations Catherine !!!!!!!!!
You've come through it.
Now where you gonna fly off to, with your new beautiful butterfly wings ?

*************

Perhaps Life's supposed to be like this: http://www.****.com/watch?v=8XQzQYFYfy8
or like this: http://www.****.com/watch?v=uad17d5h … re=related

Maybe there's a computer somewhere, where we can Google ourselves ?
http://www.****.com/watch?v=43flVoankXI