It'S Absolutely Gushing Out! | Suggestions

OK enough on female organisms..

No pun intended!

Have been wondering what BP could use to plug the oil.

There must be a quicker way than to do even more drilling.

Sure to goodness someone, somewhere has a bright idea.

My former boss, you know who you are Nick, should stick her ugly head in the hole. 

Now I'm no mathematicican but I estimate that it fits up her ****, so it's more than a match for the oil!

Any sensible ideas?  I volunteer to telephone BP with the best ideas.