Im A Single Mum. Why Are Most Mums Asking If Men Still Want Us??? | Single Parents

Well congratulations Heather, it looks like you are doing something right if your only problem is filtering them out.  I would guess that there are an awful lot of women who are not having as much luck as you in attracting men, and therefore you will see a lot of those questioning whether having children puts men off.

As you say some men will be put off, some wont, and some are single dads themselves, so that is not necessarily the issue. 

As to how to attract the right sort of man, if you work out the secret, do let the rest of us know the answer.

Quote from Heather;He has to prove that he can be trusted with the care of your children (should a serious relationship develop at any rate)..

And the kids have to like him! That is important to me. My daughters are 15 and 11. They have opinions of their own. (Don't get me wrong they don't make my choices but I don't want to bring in someone that they fervently hate!).

Hi Heather I'm glad of the sentence you put that your kids don't make your choices, because unfortunately too many children (esp boys) don't like the thought of their mother sleeping with someone who isn't their father.It may seem silly but from past experience I've found it to be the norm, girls don't really seem to bother.
Yes making sure that he can be trusted with the care of your kids is paramount, It must come before your own feelings, we've read so much of children being abused and even killed by boyfriends, and stepfathers.
Your own gut feelings will tell you a lot,

hi all, i dont think single mums have anything to worry about. To most men a woman who states that they want kids is more frightening as they think they'll be in a hurry.
If anything when 2 singles both have kids the hardest part is trying to find a window where they are both available. Especially in the early stages when its better not to have the kids around.

QUOTE: As to how to attract the right sort of man, if you work out the secret, do let the rest of us know the answer.

Didn't say I had quite perfected the RIGHT sort of man bit yet.. or I wouldn't still be on here!!
But there have been some very nice guys, even interesting prospects both on here and off..

Maybe its luck, maybe I am just open and honest with people and that works for me.. I have even gone as far as giving second chances to people that just irritated me on first contact yet later turned out to be genuine nice guys who struggled with making a good first impression..

Either way, the single mother part of my life wasn't the deciding factor.
My experience is that I was either liked OR disliked "regardless of the fact I have children" and that was the point of the post.

my kids have always come first . id never put them second to any man,

As a single father, I would like to add that it does work both ways you know.
When embarking on a relationship with a single mum - and there have been a few, which is going to make me sound at best a male tart, and at worst a player - I know that the best I am ever going to be is second best to her children.  But at the same time she also has to realise that my children are always going to come before her. 
Once you have crossed that barrier then things get tricky.  I would not expect my children to meet anyone until it is serious - at the same time I would not expect to meet her children either for the first few dates.
So it is then down to arranging baby sitters etc which in itself is difficult for me as a single male to find someone who I do not know to trust enough to look after me children.  So if you can only meet say once a fortnight, then how does it get serious anyway?  The physical side has to be right for a serious relationship but if we cannot meet at either house and cannot do an overnight, my eligibility as a good catch has just vanished completely.
It is not easy for us single dads either you know. you are not the only ones who find it difficult.

HI THERE I DONT MIND DATING A WOMEN WHO HAS KIDS THERE JUST AS GOOD AS EVERYONE ELSE SURE THEY MIGHT HAVE KIDS BUT I DONT LOOK AT THAT WAY THAT HER KIDS COME FIRST I KNOW THE DO ILL TAKE THEM TO AS THEY COME AS A WHOLE PACKAGE AND NOT JUST HER IF SHE HAS ID LIKE TO MEET THE KIDS TO AS WELL AS HER THATS MY HONSTE OPINON AND MY BELIEFS I WOULD LOVE TO DATE A WOMEN WHO HAS KIDS SO IF THERES ANY OUT THERE LOOK ME OR ID REALLY LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOUS ALL AND WHO KNOWS WOT COULD HAPPEN

Hi i think the single parent phrase is not the right phrase to use, i am divorced and my x partner looks after the kids, not to my joy i wood have them full time but everything goes to the mother.
Im not having a go but if there are two parents and he or she pays there way there is no single parent only single **** homes.
As for if we guys think you single mums are needed YES you are i would love to meet up with one and settle down again,but were do you really find one that want the right thing.

zandy crewe

I'm a single Mum... over a decade ago I met a single Dad... we got on great, got married..

the rest is history! It was bloody hard work from both sides and obviously it never worked out.

I honestly don't know if I would have the energy to do it all again.

I hope to find someone for me, yes my children are important, the most important people in my life! It would be nice to find someone purely for me though. It would be wonderful if he was a massive hit with the children and life was perfect

Sadly I'm a realist, which means I'll probably get nowhere fast

ah well

For example when and if i will find a girl i like 'the one' for me i wont have any problems even if she will have 1 or 2 children because i will fell in love with the person, mommy or no mommy she will still be the same person no? of course with other priorities in life but still the same personality. But this is just me!

hi i agree  if and when i meet a young lady and she has children then i would still date them just that  they are single mums does not mean they can not still find love and yes i would be one of them guys that would date them

I would like to add that iang040563(Ian Goodyear) is not a single dad and has never been. We have three children one eight one five and a 5 month old baby. We are married and have been together for 15 years, And we have never spilt up in the fifteen years we have been together. I have just found out that he has had a eight and a half year affair with one women and four other affairs with four different women so I started looking up his username and found lots of sites like this and a lot worse. So I just wanted to put the record straight about him.

goodyear5 wrote:

I would like to add that iang040563(Ian Goodyear) is not a single dad and has never been. We have three children one eight one five and a 5 month old baby. We are married and have been together for 15 years, And we have never spilt up in the fifteen years we have been together. I have just found out that he has had a eight and a half year affair with one women and four other affairs with four different women so I started looking up his username and found lots of sites like this and a lot worse. So I just wanted to put the record straight about him.

What a B.....D...............So sorry, you must be devastated

Yes very! The women he was with for eight and a half years knew about me and our eight year old girl but not about the other two. And he keeps saying that he has only loved me and I am everything to him and he keeps begging me to have him back!

goodyear5 wrote:

Yes very! The women he was with for eight and a half years knew about me and our eight year old girl but not about the other two. And he keeps saying that he has only loved me and I am everything to him and he keeps begging me to have him back!

Who wants a screaming, shitting, pissing11 and destructive psychopath in their lives?

Additionally, they demand every nanosecond of your attention so you haven't got time to fart or construct a scnentence of more than 3 words!

And that's just the men!