To My Fellow Single Blokes - A Note About Attitude | Flirting Tips And Advice

Hi everyone,

I've seen a fair few threads asking why girls don't reply to emails, and this got me thinking about a greater underlying problem that many of us single guys have.  I'm not great with girls but I think I'm starting to recognise some of my problems.

Many of us tend to take it as an insult if we message a girl and she doesn't bother messaging us back.  Sure, some girls can't reply as they're not full members, but at the same time, many are.  It doesn't seem too unreasonable to want a simple, polite, honest rejection, does it?

Now, I'm a stubborn so-and-so and I tend to stick to my guns on every minor subject of dispute, including this one, so in all honesty I'm not convinced by the counter-arguments I've seen to the above paragraph.  But I guess there comes a point where, if you want to get on well with other people, you have to learn to relax your rigid expectations and just accept how people are.  Plus there is the old adage "judge not lest ye be judged yourself", and I'm sure that if we applied the same rigorous scrutiny to our own actions we would wish we hadn't.

This is where my point about the "greater underlying problem" comes in.  I think that, sometimes, we get so frustrated in our attempts to woo members of the opposite **** that we do want, at least, a polite rejection to signify that we are still respected and that our interest is taken as a compliment.  And this is not something that just happens on internet dating sites - we also get annoyed about fake phone numbers, girls giving you their mobile number and then ignoring your calls and texts, telling you they're not looking for a boyfriend only to go out with some other guy 5 minutes later, or giving you the "let's just be friends" treatment.

Guys, I get frustrated by this too.  But, if you're anything like me, you have GOT to learn to just let it go and stop taking it so seriously.

Some people say that nice guys finish last in relationships.  I don't think that's true.  However, I do think that many nice guys shoot themselves in the foot by being too serious (particularly at a really early stage in the relationship).  It makes girls feel worried about disappointing you or angering you, and they might even start to look at you as a would-be stalker.  Even if you're not trying to pressurise the girl into anything, she will probably feel emotional pressure because you're laying it on too thick.  Some other guys may not be as nice as you in that they're not as caring or trustworthy, but at the same time they're not pressurising the girl in the early stages of the relationship (or, as some "nice" guys do, before any semblance of a relationship has begun).  They are relaxed, so the girl feels relaxed.

So where do we go from here?  Well, have a relaxed view towards dating and try to stop caring so much about girls replying to your messages or whatever.  Recognise that individual girls are not as big a deal as you think they are and your chances will probably increase.

I know this is all easier said than done but I think this is my problem so I wanted to share my view with other single guys who may feel the same way.