Is It Harder To Fall In Love After You Reach 30 Or 40? | Dating Over 30

You cannot call it love; for at your age
The hey-day in the blood is tame, it's humble,
And waits upon the judgment:

Signed

Dr Lurv............

Hi Dr Lucy,

I think with age and your different life experiences, including past relationships, we all become a bit more cynical or realistic. I don't believe in love the same way as I used to when I was in my twenties.

Then it was all about physical attraction first and then discovering the person. Now I prefer to discover more about the other person. Don't get me wrong, I also need to get attracted physically but it isn't the most important part anymore. I need to connect on an emotional, spiritual and physical level and that's a lot harder.

I guess you get more picky with age.

DrLucy99 wrote:

I'd like to ask you guys is it harder for you fall in love after you reach 30 or 40(s)? Do you love in a different way and what comes first. I see here that lots of middle aged guys are still looking for their soulmate but I am not sure what they really mean...

I have been having problems for some years but then again I put that down to being so ugly

Hello
       In an ideal world i would love to meet an soul mate who loves animals, travelling and being, Have a passionate authentic connection and live happily ever after!! Sadly this does not happen and women are perplexed themselves with all the emotional baggage that they have collected throughout their experiences to date. They often do not do,say and think the same! We guys in some ways i feel have to some extent become hardened to the idea of being in love and are just as perplexed! We roam around at times not sure what the rules or terms of engagement are All the best Off flying now

Hi, I think we live in a disposable society,people don't maintain anything anymore,when It needs some attention,when it's not the newest,biggest,fastest,shiniest,they throw it away,and get a new one.this includes their partners,and nowadays,women,no longer the underdogs,are having their cake and eating it. For a man who thought He'd found someone to spend the rest of His life with,this is a traumatic experience.I know that word is overused these days,but that is what's happening to men today,and as they say,once bitten twice shy. We haven't given up,but we are a lot more careful now,and if you still feel the pain and hurt,it's going to take someone pretty special to help you through that last stage of moving on fully.

I think that both Eritres and Blondeguru have valid points.
I believe that as you get older the mental baggage increases, and past hassles can prevent trust, certainly in the short term. For some, perhaps, even the long term.
Perhaps what we look for, or settle for, changes. Although everyone would love the ideal of that elusive 'chemistry' Wouldn't they?!

Thanks for the insightful replies guys.
If everyone's so picky, i wonder how middle aged people manage to start any relationship at all. I bet there is hardly 3% of people aged 30-40 who belive that love at first sight might happen to them in future.
I wish i still believed that 'love' just miraculously happens, without any analysis of the past experiences, and despite all the criteria you set for your perfect match