Can A Long Distance Relationship Work? | Relationship Issues

Ahh, tho old "long distnace relationship" chestnut.

There are a number of variants on this one, but as this is a "dating" site let's assume you are not married.

The short answer is NO.

Believe me I've been there, done that and had the sleepless nights to prove it.

I had a period where I was in communication with a lady who lived in Scarborough, now this was during a time before I had broadband and was reliant on bad old "dial up" (so no phone calls while I was on line).

It got to a stage where I would too afraid to go online "just in case" she phoned me up, I couldn't sleep wondering if, at any moment the phone might ring..it was quite nightmarish in fact.

The toruble with long distance stuff is meeting on any kind of regular basis - with the lady in question I desperately tried to arrange to get to meet her even to the extent that she agreed a date and I bought a rail ticket to York but then at the last minute she pulled out (or chickened out).

To be honest for any relationship to work you should maintain regular contact with them, they should at least be within reasonable travelling distance.

That's my two pence worth

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Personally i beg to differ,if you've never had a long distance relationship you cant contribute to this debate properly.....i had a long distance relationship with a girl in london for over 2 years,we did have our ups and downs but if you both are committed to make it work,you will get through it,in fact in some respects not seeing them every day can make the bond you develop so much stronger,so i say that if you can be happy with someone,long distance or not,then go for it!

In a nutshell - its depends on the people involved.

I've done the long distant thing (Kent, South East England vs. Inverness, Highlands) and it didn't work.  It was a logistical nightmare trying to arrange convenient dates/times etc etc to actually meet - over the 13 months of our "relationship" I think we actually met up half a dozen times - something from either his side or my side often got in the way.  I'm now only interested in meeting people much closer to home.

Good luck.

i'm yet to experience this - i'm supposed to be going on a date with someone from scotland and I live in kent so -I'll let you know.

kent v surrey is not that far? he he.

amy xx

Well I had a 4 year releationship between Derbyshire and Cardiff and while it could be hard work at times, and far from ideal (but them living in the same house can be hard work as well cant it?).... it worked. Being honest, it did all go pear shapped in the end but it was for reasons other than the distance.

So really, if you can cope with the seperation and you can totaly trust each other when your apart, and that really is the key to it all the trust factor (but again isnt that a big part with all relationships?) and you dont mind the traveling (Derby to Cardiff at 5pm on a Friday was NOT fun at times) then step out be brave and give it a go.

You never know it could lead to all sorts of life changing things in the end, but if you dont try and you really are wondering 'should i?' well maybe you could end up with that 'I wonder what?' question going on and having yet another regret I didnt do that in the back of your mind!

aymoid wrote:

i'm yet to experience this - i'm supposed to be going on a date with someone from scotland and I live in kent so -I'll let you know.

kent v surrey is not that far? he he.

amy xx

hehe you're right, surrey tp kent isn't very far. Quite a worthwhile journey if there's a nice woman like you involved!

I had a wonderful experience of a long distance relationship a few years ago. The chance to actually value the time spent together, as opposed to taking it for granted, taught me plenty too.

To have someone travel several hundred miles, just to surprise you with a birthday visit remains just about the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me and something I will always remember.

Those who are fretful, suspicious and untrusting woudn't last two minutes in a long distance relationship, but if you believe in trusting people until they give you a reason to do otherwise and realise unless you're totally honest it's utterly pointess, long distance relationships can and do work sometimes

mrhappyman wrote:

aymoid wrote:

i'm yet to experience this - i'm supposed to be going on a date with someone from scotland and I live in kent so -I'll let you know.

kent v surrey is not that far? he he.

amy xx

hehe you're right, surrey tp kent isn't very far. Quite a worthwhile journey if there's a nice woman like you involved!

You know Croydon aint too far mrhappyman

Wow
I was considering long distance dating from the US but all these scary stories make me change my mind.  I would love to at least talk friendly with someone in the UK but it is just too scary.

someone always has to move and sacrifice. It's not a true relationship when there is a big distance between two lovers

Depends on the people involved if both parties are  willing to try no matter the distance then yes.

Due to having a rubbish local social life I am use to goign away weekends and meeting up with uni friends, and even friends i have met through the net be it healh related/games or whatever.  I have dated girls for months who were long distance. The longest being Glasgow - we went out for 6 months.  and met up enough times.  Mostly at halfway points, but I also went to Glasgow.  (I earned she did not).

I think it comes down to would one of you be willing to move - if not - it will never work.

well it really does depend on how commited you both are.  I was in a long distant relationship with him traveling over 5 hours just to see me every other weekend.  The only reason we have split up is because he has the chance to move to Spain, it's not feesable for me to live out there because of my children.  Of course I wish things had panned out different but life is never as cut and dried as we would like it to be.  I guess the ironic thing is that it takes less time to get to and from Spain then it does to travel from Plymouth to North Wales!

I have had numerous ldr's and I find they are artificially good as you are always on a high when you see each other. Longing makes the heart grow fonder...
Then because you spend so little time together and time is precious, you both tend to be a little too nice and polite and frightened of saying anything deep or negative. I enjoyed each one for different reasons but would be very hesitant about future relationships of this nature.
At the end of the day we should all be able to find someone within a 50 mile radius (so long as you are not in the outer hebrides!) and being closer allows the friendship to progress at a more natural pace.
Thats my two penny worth!

mrhappyman wrote:

Has anyone here tried to make a long distance relationship work?

I have. -Dart9999-

it worked for me for about 2 years...i don't know if it was the distance.. but he found someone else while i was away. it hurts

From experience I'd say avoid long distance relationships if at all possible. There is a chance of making it work of course, but I like closeness in a relationship, your mileage may vary .

mrhappyman wrote:

Has anyone here tried to make a long distance relationship work?

Hi all, I've just come back onto the site.

I guess that means long-distance relationships don't work!

mistercheeky wrote:

I had a wonderful experience of a long distance relationship a few years ago. The chance to actually value the time spent together, as opposed to taking it for granted, taught me plenty too.

To have someone travel several hundred miles, just to surprise you with a birthday visit remains just about the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me and something I will always remember.

Those who are fretful, suspicious and untrusting woudn't last two minutes in a long distance relationship, but if you believe in trusting people until they give you a reason to do otherwise and realise unless you're totally honest it's utterly pointess, long distance relationships can and do work sometimes

Living on the Channel Islands long distance relationships are quite common. I've had a few and hopeful will have more in the future.

My sister has just celebrated her 10th wedding anniversary, she is married to an American and living in the USA.